Shore Velocity

Top 3 Guitar Songs That Are Ideal For Beginners

Here are some top 3 songs that are ideal for beginners to learn guitar on,tune your strings and get ready to rock and roll:

  • Brown Eyed Girl By Van Morrison:

One of the main reasons why this is the best songs is the fact that kids can play the chorus on the guitar. The part that would be ‘sha-la-la’ is what makes the song super fun.

This is an example of a good sing for kids because of the great,easy to learn lysircs to help to blster the apreal of this classic songs.

  • Mary Had A Little Lamb:

Mary Had A Little Lamb in C,F,& G. Because Mary Had A Little Lamb is a simple tune,it is a good first piece to learn and memorize. Learn it in all three keys to get started on learning the notes on the guitar and your guitar finger numbers.

  • You Are My Sunshine By Traditional:

Written by former Louisiana State Governor Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell. Copyright 1940 and 1977 by Peer International Corporation. This song is one of two official songs for the State of Louisiana.

If you need more infomation about easy songs,what to learn more about the guitar songs then go ahead and click here [dcl=6983]

Questions to ask Potential umbrella company providers

If you’ve chosen to go down the umbrella company training course,there are scores of providers out there. Here we have a gander at some critical things to consider when you’re picking a potential supplier. Only consider authentic PAYE umbrella Businesses Prior to starting,realize that the main ways PAYE umbrella companies can compete with one another is on worth (per week by week or month to month expense they charge to contractors),and client service. What’s more,seriously,whatever boosting claims you may peruse,they can all just recover the cost of really caused costs (specifically throughout the umbrella for things like mileage claims,or by means of you annual self-assessment tax yield).

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Other non-PAYE umbrella-type schemes can guarantee you enormous returns on your own contracting commission (‘85% net salary’) et cetera,yet going along with one ofthese approaches could open you up into a future HMRC investigation,penalties and considerable antedated taxes,therefore we always imply contractors to stick to just legitimate PAYE umbrella schemes. The most effective method to locate the best umbrella supplier for you Here are some of the principle concerns you should bear in mind when looking at umbrella businesses: 1. What’s the umbrella company advantage (ensure you comparison like-and enjoy,i.e. what is the gross charge every week or month). Often umbrella businesses illustrate their charges on a post-tax basis,which might mislead. Be careful with companies who charge a level of their receipt esteem,as you could wind up significantly from pocket! Find our morein our guide for umbrella company charges and fees. 2. Discover as much base as you can regarding the company; once was it established,it’s a person from any business bodies,what number of contractors does it have on its books,etc. 3. What sort of innovation does each company use to manage payments and timesheets. In an ideal world you would approach an intuitive internet based bookkeeping system so you can start looking into the status of your timesheet admissions and expenses claims in realtime. 4. Are there any additional fees involves,like joining or leaving fees? 5. What has the umbrella strategy performed to conform to this Agency Workers Regulations,which give additional rights to transitory workers following 12 weeks on mission. There are numerous models setup to ensure that businesses agree to the AWR,like the’Swedish Derogation’ display. 6. Will you have a named record director to handle? This is obviously best. 7. How are payments processed,and what is the installment schedule? Is it true that the umbrella cost for same-day transfers? Historically,a few schemes have charged additional for installation via CHAPS,anyway the arrival of FP (Faster Payments) means that most significant banks will create and get payments on the same afternoon,for no additional cost. 8. Some umbrella companies have given the business a terrible name in previous years — regularly promising contractors to ensure ill-conceived expenses (which reduce their cover tax duty). Ask any potential companies for information of any expert consistence audits they’ve embraced to demonstrate that they work honestly. 9. Is it true that the umbrella cost incorporate business insurance cover? (numerous customers insist that contractors maintain professional repayment insurance cover as a base). Assuming this is the case,ensure your specific work and abilities are procured by any sweeping coverages. 10. {Does the supplier offer some other’perks’ or incentives for its employees,such as pension provision,free vouchers,or referral commissions on the off chance that you prescribe a partner? |} For some inherent ideas,attempt our umbrella indicator for a few legitimate providers.

{ How contractors can benefit from employee benefit schemes? |}

As a self-employed contractor you might be forgiven thatthe area of workplace benefits is off the current market,but you couldn’t be farther from the reality. Yes your end clients benefits strategy will probably be off the table,but by working through an umbrella company you might get access to a plethora of employee benefits that does not just make contracting easier but really give back some of the fees you pay to the umbrella every week. Employee benefits come in many shapes and sizes but They Frequently include: Public Liability Insurance Cover (about #3.84 per week) Professional Indemnity Insurance Cover (about #5.19 per week) Perkbox Rewards (about #6.09 per week) Cycle to work schemes If you are paying an umbrella company #25 per week,then it is important to offset that cost against a number of the advantages you’d otherwise have to pay for from your pocket. Read on for a breakdown of the advantages and how they can financially help the contractors that receive them. { Public Liability Cover — on average #200 per annum |} As a contractor working through a Limited Company or as a self-employed employee,to be able to measure onsite and reevaluate your contract you are often required to provide your client with evidence of your public liability insurance. Public liability insurance protects,you,your client and their end customer in the event thatyou cause injury or loss to somebody in the course of performing your role (though not during your actual resulting work). Say for instance you’re in IT and you are constructing a piece of software. In the course of making this software,you eliminate the memory stick that houses the data on it. In this event it is your public liability insurance that foots the bill for the loss caused to a client as opposed to you,meaning thata blip in an otherwise ideal livelihood won’t cost you a house. Public liability insurance is not compulsory in the UK,but it’s often a minimum necessity to interact with a client. Though your work may take nine months to finish and the final result would be covered under your mandatory professional indemnity insurance cover,any mishap you encounter in the course of the nine months you take to make it to the final result won’t be. {As stated previously,unlike public liability insurance,professional indemnity insurance is a legal necessity. |} As an expert,you’d expect that every bit of work you do would be top notch but sometimes things can go wrong and at the event thatthis is a result of your work,this is the insurance that will cover the bill. Say for instance you’re a railroad,and in the class of your inspections you overlook a faulty signal,which in turn causes an accident. As a contractor you might be financially accountable for the consequences of the mishap and as such unless you’ve got professional indemnity insurance you might wind up footing the bill. Obviously,nobody wants to make a claim on their insurance however much like taking out car insurance,as a responsible contractor you want to ensure should the worst occur,you are covered. Perkbox (and other employee perk schemes) — a minimum of #317 per annum Perkbox is the UK’s leading employee reward strategy and it is becoming ever more popular amongst high end umbrellas that are looking to provide a bit more back to their loyal customers. The perks are pretty straight forward,with 90% consisting of money off coupons at leading retailers such as: Exclusive Odeon,London Eye & National Attraction Offers 5% off at Ikea 8% off Only Eat 8% off at M&S 10% off at Debenhams 10% off at Charles Tyrwhitt 15% off at New Look However there are a Couple of big winners that you can benefit from as soon as you join your umbrella company such as: { 20% off EE monthly telephone bills (worth #96) Free Mobile Phone insurance (worth #179) 12 Free Coffees from Café Nero (worth #42) |} Limit the plethora of different discounts on offer,these three offers alone will net you a benefit of #6.09 per week. { Employee benefits can add up fast |} If you mix both contractor insurances and perkbox,the ordinary contractor on #50,000 per annum can expect to gain to the tune of about #15 per week. Compare it to an umbrella fee of #25 per week and internet weekly cost is really only #10. For more information on umbrella companies,the advantages they provide and how these can impact your net take home after tax,compare umbrella companies online today.

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{ How contractors can benefit from employee benefit strategies? |}

As a self employed contractor you could be forgiven thatthe area of workplace rewards is firmlyoff the current market,but you couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes your end clients benefits strategy will probably be off the table,but by working through an umbrella company that you could get access to a host of employee benefits which not only make contracting simpler but actually give back a few of the fees that you pay to the umbrella every week. Employee benefits come in many sizes and shapes but They Frequently contain: Public Liability Insurance Cover (about #3.84 a week) Professional Indemnity Insurance Cover (about #5.19 a week) Perkbox Gains (about #6.09 a week) Cycle to operate schemes If you’re paying an umbrella company #25 a week,then it is important to cancel that cost against a number of the benefits you’d otherwise need to cover from your pocket. Continue reading for a breakdown of these benefits and how they are able to financially help the contractors that receive them. { Public Liability Cover — normally #200 per annum |} As a contractor working through a Limited Company or as a self employed worker,in order to step onsite and fulfil your contract you are often required to provide your client with evidence of your public liability insurance. Public liability insurance protects,you,your client and their end client in the event thatyou cause harm or loss to someone in the course of performing your role (although not through your actual resulting work). Say by way of example you’re in IT and you’re building a piece of software. In the course of making this software,you lose the memory stick that houses the information on it. In this event it is your public liability insurance which foots the bill for the loss caused to a client rather than you personally,meaning thata blip in an otherwise perfect livelihood won’t cost you a house. Public liability insurance isn’t compulsory in the united kingdom,but it’s frequently a minimum requirement to engage with a client. While your work might take nine months to finish and the end result would be addressed under your compulsory professional indemnity insurance cover,some mishap you will encounter in the course of the nine months you choose to make it to the end result will not be. {As stated previously,unlike public liability insurance,professional indemnity insurance is a legal requirement. |} As a professional,you’d expect that every piece of work you do would be topnotch but occasionally things can go wrong and at the event thatthis is a result of your work,this is the insurance which will pay for the bill. Say by way of example you’re a railroad,and in the class of your inspections you overlook out a faulty signal,which in turn causes an accident. As a contractor you could be financially liable for the implications of the accident and as such unless you’ve got professional indemnity insurance you might wind up footing the bill. Obviously,nobody wants to evermake a claim on their insurance but similar to taking out auto insurance,as a responsible contractor you want to ensure should the worst happen,you’re covered. Perkbox (and other employee perk schemes) — a minimum of #317 per annum Perkbox is the UK’s top employee reward strategy and it is becoming ever more popular among high end umbrellas which want to give a bit more back to their faithful clients. The perks are pretty straight forward,with 90% Comprising money off vouchers at leading retailers such as: Exclusive Odeon,London Eye & National Attraction Offers 5% off at Ikea 8% off Only Eat 8% off at M&S 10% off at Debenhams 10% off at Charles Tyrwhitt 15% off at New Appearance However there are a few big winners that you can benefit from as soon as you combine your umbrella company such as: { 20 percent off EE monthly telephone bills (worth #96) Free Mobile Phone insurance (worth #179) 12 Free Coffees from Café Nero (worth #42) |} Limit the plethora of different discounts on offer,these three offers alone will net you a benefit of #6.09 a week. { Employee benefits can add up fast |} Should you mix both contractor insurances and perkbox,the average contractor on #50,000 per annum could expect to benefit to the tune of about #15 a week. Compare that to an umbrella fee of #25 a week and net weekly cost is actually just #10. To learn more on umbrella companies,the benefits they provide and how these will impact your net take home after tax,compare umbrella companies online now.

Source:[dcl=6911]

Why Work with a Defense Attorney Over a Public Defender?

Why Work with a Defense Attorney Over a Public Defender?

The right to counsel is enshrined in the constitution. Anyone who is accused of a crime should be able to get the assistance of a[dcl=6643] for his defense. Individuals may choose their own private lawyer, or get the services of an appointed counsel. The latter is usually chosen if the defendant cannot afford to pay for legal defense. The government will shoulder the cost of providing a public defender.

This seems like an excellent choice on paper. There will be no hefty legal fees, and everything else will be taken care of by the system. In reality, it will be more prudent to choose a private counsel. Why work with a defense attorney over a public defender?

Greater Focus, Thanks to a Smaller Case Load

Public defenders do everything they can for their clients but it is not easy when they have so many cases to work on. The system is perennially underfunded and understaffed. There are too few lawyers to share the massive case load. They cannot focus well on each of them. There are efforts to fix the system but right now things are still looking bleak. On the other hand, defense attorneys take on far fewer cases which enable them to focus on every single one of them. Clients will feel that they are in good hands. All of their questions will be answered and their needs will be addressed.

Better Resources, Resulting in Improved Case Handling

The lack of funds severely limit the ability of public defenders to serve their clients. They can’t do much when trying to investigate the case. Resourcefulness can only go so far. They also have very limited time to devote on each for preparations. This is where defense attorneys truly shine ([dcl=6643]). They can mount a strong legal defense for their clients because they can pay for expert witnesses, investigators, private laboratories, and other helpful resources.

Higher Incentive for Acquittal

Another thing to consider is that public defenders will be assigned cases no matter what their performance is. There are simply too few of them that the system cannot afford to be selective. The pay is not high enough to attract the most promising talents. Meanwhile, defense attorneys are highly conscious of their performance. They will do everything in their power to get a positive result for their clients since their record is crucial in this business. Their reputation depends on it.

The biggest hurdle in hiring a defense attorney is the cost of the legal fees. If you can find a way to overcome this, then it is clearly the better option.

Get More Information

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Look No Further For The Best Dental Care Information

When it comes to how your teeth appear, only you have the power and control. So if at this point with the outcome you are not happy, it’s time a few modifications were made. You can’t just yield everything to your dental practitioner. You must take a proactive stance today, and begin working towards an improved set of teeth.
Do not approve of your child to indulge in a whole lot of juice. The sugars contained in juice can stay on your child’s teeth throughout the day, aiding the advancement of dental caries. As an alternative, offer drinking water. Many little ones are going to want a little flavor. You can easily make a refreshingly pleasant drink by squeezing a little bit of lemon into some ice water.
Are your teeth hypersensitive? If so, several dental offices would suggest that you choose a specific toothpaste. It will help seal-up the tubules leading to the nerves inside your teeth and even is accessible at the drug store and discount shops. Should you really want to resolve the predicament once and for all, this is the ideal manner.
Certainly there is far more to adequately maintaining your teeth than flossing, going to the tooth doctor and brushing. Rather, you must definitely bring about a few major alterations to your existence so as to enjoy healthy teeth and a dazzling white smile. An exceptional idea is to steer clear of food items that can stain your teeth. Also, giving up cigarette smoking is going to strongly enhance your dental health.
When it comes to tobacco products try your very best to put an end to using them. Periodontal disease in a large number of individuals causes tooth loss, and most people are not really knowledgeable that tobacco smoking has the ability to cause gum disease. Do your very best to get rid of your addiction to tobacco products should you wish to increase the chances of your teeth lasting a lot longer.
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In the event that your old fillings consist of mercury, you really should upgrade them. Mercury could cause damage to other systems of your body since it is hazardous. Dental professionals can certainly use materials that are viewed better for fillings, therefore meet with your dental practitioner.
To keep your breath smelling decent use mouthwash. At the same time, it is a very good manner in which to clear out all the loose debris. Did you know that brands of mouthwash with alcohol in it usually dry-out the mouth? Dry mouth results in an optimal place for bacteria, producing unpleasant troubles later. Be sure to refrain from using a mouthwash consisting of alcohol.
You ought to go and receive a second opinion if ever you are told that you require a deep cleaning when you see a dental practitioner. You could require this specific treatment. Nevertheless before you complete it, you want to be sure of it just because some dentists definitely will recommend it only to make money.
There is an ideal way to floss. Have your dental office demonstrate it to you if you almost always bypass flossing just because you are not sure. Your dental practitioner will definitely explain the best way to go about flossing, and demonstrate the way in which you should grip it.[dcl=6477]
Due to the fact that there are separate toothbrushes for young people and adults, it is very important to get the correct one. When deciding upon a toothbrush, make sure to select the right one. Can toothbrush bristles be unreasonably hard? Absolutely, and toothbrush bristles that are overly hard can easily injure your gums. A toothbrush has been checked to guarantee your gum tissue will not be hurt by the bristles, when there is an ADA insignia on the toothbrush box.
Cut down on your consumption of sugar. It’s for the welfare of your teeth. How is this type of food for your teeth? Not good. Here is what to do on the occasion that you consume it. Drink plenty of pure water and have it along with your meal. After every single time you eat, it is undoubtedly optimal if you are able to brush.
Really want to help keep your teeth clean? Use apple cider vinegar. It is an ordinary home remedy. Delivering your mouth with a range of advantages, this specific sort of vinegar gets rid of discolorations, whitens your teeth, as well as eliminates germs. Apple cider vinegar is exceedingly beneficial if you use it just before you brush your teeth in the morning hours. In your dental care, apple cider vinegar is a reasonably priced and splendid asset.
Try to keep your toothbrush well-maintained always. What should you do when you are finished with brushing? Fully wash your toothbrush off, and allow it to air dry. Make sure your toothbrush does not make contact with anything unsafe. Use a toothbrush holder. Bacteria could multiply in an enclosed container. Never keep your toothbrush in a closed container. When should you acquire a brand-new toothbrush? Every few months.
Apply the advice you’ve just discovered to help make things much simpler on yourself as you determine the ways to better care for your teeth. Make those refinements. Your teeth are waiting. Always keep just what you have read through in mind, and get going with a more effective plan today.[dcl=6476] a useful resource.

Keeping You In-Store and Outdoor Signage Attractive

Outdoor and in-store signage is important factors in getting customers inside your retail store. But have you stopped to look at your signage lately? Just like your merchandise, your signage should change regularly to keep customers coming back. Here are some tips to ensure that your different signage is in top shape and doing its best to communicate with customers and potential clients.

Maintenance is Key

Your permanent outdoor sign won’t change very often, but it’s important to make sure it looks fresh and up-to-date at all times. Burned out bulbs, flickering neon or peeling paint convey a bad impression. Make sure your sign is in tune and secured with the feel and the look of the area where your store is located.

Window signage, on the other hand, should change frequently, with new merchandise or seasons.

Useful In-store Signs

Inside the store, signage can serve the purpose of directing or explaining, like signs that tell customers where the dressing rooms are for instance, or signs announcing sales or hyping products can persuade them to look and buy. Purposeful signs need to be clear and easily understood. Persuasive signs can be more fun. Both types should be consistent with your brand in terms of fonts, colors, and design.

Blend it Up

Point of purchase signs, A-frame signs, standing signs, display signs and wall signs are all formats you can use throughout your store. You can even get creative with decals on the floor highlighting key sections of the shop. Something as simple as a doormat with a creative message or your business logo secured on it will attract attention while also serving a purpose.

Be Positive

Don’t use signs in your store bearing negative messages such as “Absolutely NO checks accepted” or “Cash only” and “All sales FINAL”. This will suggest that you have had some awful experiences with customers. Phrase your sign content positively, like “We cannot accept out-of-state checks. Thank you for understanding.”

Recognitions and Awards

They aren’t exactly signs, but framed articles about your business or awards you have won are another way to communicate with customers. They show that your store has a history, is part of the community and is respectable and trustworthy.

Grab Attention

Signs that make people stop and think, such as puns, plays on words or humor, are a great way to get shoppers to slow down. When someone pauses to read a sign and chuckle or share it with a friend, you’ve got a better chance of making the sale.

Strike a Balance

It’s important to find the right balance between too little and too much signage both inside and outside your store. Too much, and your store looks cluttered and overwhelming, customers won’t know where to look. Too little, and the store looks unwelcoming, as customers struggle with things like where to find items.

Portable signage, such as A-frame or chalkboard signs, is a great way to attract passersby to your store. Get creative with your sign. An eclectic clothing boutique can use a chalkboard with pastel, hand-drawn lettering. A children’s bookstore or toy shop can use a magnetic board spelling out words in colorful alphabet magnets, or a felt board with stick-on felt lettering.

Love and Relationship Compatibility and Quizzes

More than ever, people are seeing the connection between love and relationship compatibility and quizzes. Learning the most intimate parts of your partners life is vital to determining whether or not the two of you are good together. It takes a lot more than physical attraction and good sex to keep a relationship together. The two of you really need to have compatibility on all levels – not just in bed.

Couples who understand love and relationship compatibility and quizzes use these short tests to learn more about themselves and each other. The result is a more secure and successful relationship once they determine and agree about what each of them wants from each other, from their relationship, and from life. Disagreeing on something doesn’t mean the end of the world – or even the end of your relationship. It simply means finding a compromise together as a couple. And doing that is much easier when you truly understand who your partner is and how they feel. But first, you have to know what the issues are. This is where love and relationship compatibility and quizzes comes in.

If you wait until you are in the middle of a crisis to learn that the two of you have very different opinions about something, then it is going to be difficult to overcome those situations. But if you learn through love and relationship compatibility and quizzes where the two of you have conflicting points of view, then you can be prepared and make rational decisions ahead of time, instead of making a mistake in the heat of an argument.

Both of you should know very specific things about one another. You should both be aware of how the other feels about having or adopting children. You should know what your goals are financially and for your relationship. You should know how you both feel about each others families. You should know how each other grew up, what values and lessons you were taught as a child. You should know how they feel about marriage and divorce. All of these things are invaluable when it comes to having a successful relationship.

Using love and relationship compatibility and quizzed to get to know your partner better will help you learn everything you need to know about your partner. Once you can highlight your strong points as a couple, it will be easy to know what to fall back on during difficult times as well as what areas need work.

Would you like to find out more on the importance of questions and knowing your partner before making a commitment?

Do you just want a huge list of questions that may determine your happiness?

Are you in a relationship and want to find out more about your partner?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, click on the squidoo link!!!

Which Jobs Are Best For the Female Brain During Her Natural Life and Relationship Cycles?

It has often been said that male and female members of the human species think quite differently. Those of us who are males would agree with that when it comes to males, and females – men are quite different in their thinking from women. Thus, we get books like “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus,” to give us a little comic relief in human relationships, and try to put things back into perspective. Nevertheless, it is been said by at least one famous ancient philosopher that:

Society does best when each individual does what they are best at, and is alleviated from those mundane tasks they don’t do well.” [Plato].

So with this known, which jobs might be best suited for the female brain after her childbearing years? And which types of jobs might be best for the female brain during periods of transition between single life, dating life, married life, and motherhood? Obviously these are such radical changes that they will affect the way the brain works, thinks, and the emotional component. Not long ago, I was talking with a psychologist about this and so I asked these questions;

Have you identified which tasks, career paths, jobs, etc., that the woman brain in various stages of life, makes them a natural to excel at? It seems that based on what you are saying it DOES matter, and would give them the edge. For instance, a single woman might make a much better “home stager” or “interior decorator” or someone who might create a revolutionary breakthrough in her area of science, business, etc. Have you studied empirical data that would confirm this theory, or touch on this?

It turns out that even though they were a specialist in the female brain during the various Relationship Cycles, and had even written a couple of books on the topic, given speeches, and written numerous articles, they hadn’t really considered the application of such knowledge in the work force. Now then, I would submit to you that someone who has been a mother for 10 to 15 years raising a family and children into adulthood might be a most excellent human resource director.

Indeed, I would also submit to you that a woman in her prime dating periods of life might be a most excellent sales person, marketing executive, or even branding expert. Perhaps this is something that you have considered, and if so you probably have your own opinion about this topic, and might even be to add more to it. There hasn’t been is much research on this topic as I would expect there to be, although there are quite a few well-known papers surrounding the subject. Think on it.

Lance Winslow is the Founder of the Online Think Tank, a diverse group of achievers, experts, innovators, entrepreneurs, thinkers, futurists, academics, dreamers, leaders, and general all around brilliant minds. Lance Winslow hopes you’ve enjoyed today’s discussion and topic. http://www.World Think Tank.net. Have an important subject to discuss, contact Lance Winslow.

The Change for a Better Marriage and Relationship Begins With You

Mike got married to his first wife at about age 25, had three children and walked out of the marriage few years later. He got married to another woman, had two children and also left after few years. He got married to the third wife, had children and also left the marriage after few years. Presently Mike is in his fifties, single with no contact with any of the wife or children. Now he realizes, while narrating his story, that he is the problem and not the women. How true!

You are the common reason in most relationships, whether casual, official, family or marital. Thus the change for a better relationship begins with you. We all have natural instincts to fight or flee in any danger or crises. The fight or flee responses come in different ways and may have positive or negative effect on you as an individual and on your relationship in general. In order to get the right result you need to know the right step to take in any challenge or crises. For example, fleeing from your job because of a conflict with a colleague will make you jobless and send you back into the labor market, but fighting “positively” to resolve the conflict will keep you in that job and make you a better person ( as a result of what you learn in the course of resolving that conflict). Likewise fleeing from your marriage because of challenges will lead to separation or divorce which is not the best for you, your spouse or your children. On the other hand staying to fight in a physically abusive marriage may cost your life.

Fight Positively

Fleeing means, giving up on yourself, your spouse, your marriage/relationship or on the situation. Fighting “positively” means, taking a critical look at how to resolve the conflict. Our focus is not about fleeing from your marriage and relationship, but fighting positively to save your marriage. Most times we fight, but negatively and this make matters worse. Negative fight focus on what you are not doing right, what the other person is not doing right or all the wrong things in the situation – all these creates more tension and conflict. Fighting positively means creating the desired change in your marriage or relationship challenges.

Cultivate Good Habits

One of the best ways to create the desired change in your marriage and relationship is for the change to start with you. Do a personal assessment to find your areas of weaknesses (such as; anger, impatience, hatred for self and others, low self-esteem, bitterness etc.) What you know about yourself, what others (your spouse, friends and family) complaint about you is pointer to what your weaknesses are. This does not mean being hard or judgmental on yourself, not at all. We all have weaknesses, but we can work on our area of weakness to be a better person. This means cultivating good habits or characters and destroying bad ones. It also means destroying negative emotions like fear, anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, low self-esteem and others.

Negative or positive habits happens through conscious constant practice. Our goal for a better, conflict free relationship will be the motivating factor for dropping off bad habits and negative emotions and also for building up good ones. Habits are formed over a period of about three months of constant practice. Keep at it and you will be a better you.

Change Your Perception

Staying or fleeing from your marriage and relationship depend mainly on your perception about yourself, the other person and your situation. The mind is the battle field in the affairs of life, that is, your winning or losing starts from the mind. If you think that you will win, you will. If you think that you cannot, you cannot. If you think the situation is hopeless, it is. If you think there is a way out, there is. So, how do you see yourself and that life challenge that you are going through at the moment.

I see challenges as opportunities to learn, be a better person, move forward in life and help others to walk through similar situation victoriously. To stay and overcome that challenge; you have to see God’s divine ability in you to succeed beyond your shortcomings, you have to see beyond how bad the situation looks and other negative feedback about you or the situation. You have all it takes to go through life, your marriage or any relationship successfully. You are not a failure, you have all you need to succeed, just look in and bring out the treasure in you. Do not live in self-condemnation, self-pity, low self-esteem and other self-destructive tendencies – that makes life miserable.

Another tool for a successful marriage or relationship is your perception of your spouse. Do not see your spouse or the other person as the main problem, it takes two to tango. Identify ways in which you are contributing to the crises (such as through uncontrolled anger, impatience, selfishness) and seek personal solution by making necessary adjustments. Do not focus on your spouse’s faults or shortcomings; rather look for positive ways of responding or reacting to his/her shortcoming.

Look out for something to appreciate in your spouse – the more you dwell on this the less you will focus on his/her weakness. No matter how bad it looks, there is something good about your spouse, if you have not seen any; you need to take a deeper look to find it. We all have strong and weak points; the problem is that we tend to focus more on the negative than positive side. In fact it was one or more of your spouse’s good personality that attracted you to him or her first, but focusing on the bad characters over time has cover up your view of the good side. Now is the time to shift your focus from the bad to the good. The more of your spouse’s strong characters you see, the less obvious his or her weaknesses becomes.

Have a large heart to accommodate flaws and forgive. This means that you will not expect too much and be disappointed because the other person has fallen short of your expectation. By having a large heart you will be able to accept the fact that no one is perfect, I am not and you are not.

Another tool for success is your perception of the situation:

Never compare your situation to others because you are unique, your spouse is unique and so is your situation. Though the problem or challenge is not unique because someone, somewhere has gone through similar situation and overcome, and someone is going through the similar situation at the same time with you.

Do not see your situation as hopeless; you need hope alive to overcome. If people have gone through similar or worst situation and come out successful, why not you?.

Seek help in the right places. Yes! We sometimes seek help in the wrong places.

The journey to a better marriage and relationships begins with you – your mindset, your perception and your ability to cultivate positive habits and emotions such as love, acceptance, forgiveness, enthusiasm, faith, and wish and so on. And your ability to avoid or destroy negative emotions of fear, jealousy, hatred, revenge, greed, bitterness, anger and the like.

Don’t Let Anything Stand in the Way of Your Happiness When it Comes to Love and Relationships

I was watching one of my old favourite movies the other night simply because it just happened to be on. It’s called Keeping the Faith and if you have not seen it, then I recommend it next time you are stuck for something to watch. It’s a romantic comedy about a Priest and a Rabbi who are best friends – a good all rounder to amuse both genders.

Anyway, to cut a long story short (and hopefully this won’t ruin it for you) the Rabbi wanted to date a girl who was not Jewish and ends up breaking up with her because he thinks his congregation, family and friends will not approve.

It reminded me of a few people I myself have not dated because I did not think that my friends and family would look upon it favourably. Guys who probably would have treated me like gold no doubt, but now I will never know.

I wonder how many people out there are unhappy and single because they let society and their loved ones make them feel like they can only be with someone they approve of. My guess is there are probably quite a few! I sincerely hope you are not one of them, and if you are then you have nothing but my sincerest sympathies. It’s easy for me to say that you should just follow your heart and forget about what other people think, but I understand that certain circumstances are more difficult than most of us can even begin to imagine.

When it comes to religious differences, things can be tricky and I am not qualified to give you proper advice here. All I can say is that you have to make the choices that you can ultimately live with. You will need to decide whether your religion or your love life come first. However if you are in love with someone who may be a different race to you or a different size, but you are not with them because you fear what society may think…well then you may never find the happiness you seek.

Go for what YOU want and follow your heart! If your family and friends cannot accept it then that is their problem. Remember one of my favourite little sayings…”Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”

Before I say good bye though let me tell you a very quick true story about a good friend of mine…

I used to work as a Recruitment Consultant and my colleague had this rather large account to deal with which required her to phone the client often. Every time she was on the phone to this particular client, her eyes would light up and she would seem to be at her happiest. I used to joke around with her and tease her about liking him, but she told me he was too ugly for her (shocking I know, but this is how she felt…or how she thought others might feel). I told her she was being silly and that she should give it a go because they got on so well over the phone and in person.

She eventually realised that this guy obviously made her happy and proceeded to date him without telling anyone, including me (again, clearly worried about what people would think). When she eventually came out into the open about their relationship (which I suspected anyways) she realised that people were in fact thrilled for her. Not quite the judgemental crisis situation she imagined.

Their wedding is at the end of May in Italy. I look forward to it and I like to think I had a little help in getting them there.

Learn from her story what you can and never let anyone dictate who you should or should not be with.

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